Watch Kalib Run puts its special powers to use and predicts the major MMA events of 2009.

-Rashad Evans defeats Forrest Griffin and the UFC is none to pleased. That is until Lyoto Machida defeats Thiago Silva. Machida granted immediate title shot.

-B.J. Penn loses to George St. Pierre, sherdog servers temporarily collapse for a month due to excessive posting by B.J. Penn supporters.

-B.J. Penn follows his loss to St. Pierre by promptly beating Kenny Florian and Sean Sherk. Penn confesses he is a vampire that Edward from the Twilight series is based off of. Penn's sway over the MMA community is finally understood.

-George St. Pierre defeats Thiago Alves then leads French Canada to independence while signing Les Miserables songs.

-MMA is legalized in New York.

-Anderson Silva continues to mull retirement while the UFC does everything in its power to keep Michael Bisping away from Silva.

-The Ultimate Fighter is renamed The Ultimate Frat House. Spike bills the show as an 'in depth look at the life and hardships of over-privileged white males with nothing do but drink alcohol and prank each other'.

-Tim Sylvia steals Jenna Jameson from Tito Ortiz. Local sanitation departments notice sudden intake of abandoned porn in sewers covered in vomit.

-Marcus Davis applies for citizenship in Ireland, promptly joins the IRA as their official mascot.

-Melvin Guillard reforms himself during a three fight win streak and begins preaching about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Guillard creates a New Orleans charity that helps Hurricane Katrina victims and helps get fifty underprivelged families back in their homes while continuing to advocate against urban blight. Who am I kidding, he gets caught smoking crack-cocaine with Whitney Houston.

-Takanori Gomi loses yet again but remains ranked high in Josh Gross’ lightweight rankings. Blogosphere calls for an investigation. SI's internal review discovers that Gross and Gomi are half brothers.

-Team Noguiera coach 'Stankie' enters the UFC, knocks out Houston Alexander.

-Gina Carano and Tonya Evinger protest Propistion 8 on Ellen. Come out of the closet during the filming.

-ESPN starts showing MMA Live on ESPN Classic. No one watches and the show is relegated back to being embedded on blogs.

-Brock Lesnar is injured indefinitely due to a mistake made while trying to remove his 'penis tattoo'.

-Urijah Faber defeats Jens Pulver again. Urijah Faber loses to Mike Brown again. Urijah Faber defeats Jens Pulver for the third time. Title shot against Mike Brown slated for 2010. WEC matchmaker, Sean Shelby, given a contract extension.