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What happens to all those bad pick segments?

This is a question that has been bugging WKR for some time. Writers and pundits often make horrible predictions yet no one holds them accountable (except for our readers, of course). The bloated size of the Internet often allows us to hide our mistakes behind the ether of electrons and photons, but not here at WKR.

We are introducing a new feature we are calling Monday Morning Pick Roast where we will recap our major event Picks Segment FJM-style. Our observant readers will notice that our first edition is already a day late which we wouldn't have any other way. But the point of this feature is to allow our readers to see our horrible mistakes in bold helvetica font.

SBN coverage of UFC 106: Ortiz vs. Griffin 2

Zach Krantz, do your worst!

I really, really want to pick Foster.  He put on a great fight against story and likes to stand and bang.  Larson has to be pissed though coming off that loss to Pierce.  Unless he gets sloppy trying to stand and trade expect a win for Larson via submission.

I lack testicles.  Which is a bit of a problem since I consider myself a man.  Brian Foster was my sleeper pick, but because Larson was coming off a loss I was afraid to be so bold.  I even eloquently stated this in the pick segment, "I really, really want to pick Foster." I promise that I will bring the audacity next time.  Which will probably lead to another Pick Roast.

Marcus Davis will Knock Out Saunders whenever he wants to.

"Marcus Davis will Knock Out Saunders whenever he wants to." Um, no.  My love for Davis got the best of me and his height is starting to become a real problem.  It forces him to get close and against fighters with power this is proving quite a hindrance.

Koscheck has said this fight is not going to the judges, he will get knocked out.  Koscheck also said he has to fight smart, Koscheck will win.  Anthony Johnson is a solid prospect, but we still do not know if his ground game has improved.  This fight is dependent on two factors: how Koscheck fights and Johnson's takedown defense.  I expect Koscheck to look to trade and Johnson to win via KO Round 2.

Yes, I was one of the people who thought Kos would stand and trade with Johnson.  It was over the second Koscheck took the fight to the ground.

To help build my self esteem back up I turn to evidence "A," the Ortiz/Griffin fight.  I was spot on and it feels gooooood.  "Tito does not have huge knockout power"-check.  "I expect him (Forrest) to use his kicks to wear down a ring rusted Tito"-check.  "Forrest via unanimous decision"-should be a check.

Nick Becker's turn!

I know I'm going way out on a limb here, but I see Ortiz coming out like he did in the first round of their first fight, landing the double-leg takedown and then punishing Griffin with non-stop elbows.  Griffin's last fight seems to have shattered his psyche and I believe he'll crumble under the pressure as soon as he faces adversity.  Ortiz via TKO in Round 1.

See what happens when you go out on a limb?  The branch cracks and you fall out of the damn tree.  But seriously, had I know that Tito had a ‘fractured skull' coming into the fight I wouldn't have picked him too win.  I mean, a fractured skull is a pretty bad injury right? 

I think Koscheck's aggressiveness and penchant for slugging it out will cost him dearly as he'll have his lights switched off during an early exchange.  This time though, he won't be flash-KO'd - he'll be out cold.  Rumble by KO (of the Night) Round 1.

Man, this was an ugly fight to watch.  I probably shouldn't have underestimated Koscheck's ability to employ a smart game plan and do what was needed to in order to get the win.  I also probably shouldn't have watched Rumble's highlight reel seven times in a row before I made my picks.  

Baroni via Awesome Entrance and Flashy Robe.

I did get the awesome entrance and flashy robe part correct.  Unless they change Baroni's fights to 1 minute rounds, I'm going to have to seriously reconsider picking him to win in the future.

In a back-and-forth battle that makes this event worth every penny, I've got Nogueira by Unanimous Decision in the Fight of the Night and Fight of the Year.

Ouch, that one hurts.  Looks like I'm going to have to add some humble pie to my Thanksgiving Day menu.  I hope it tastes like pumpkin...  

Ben Saunders has long arms and a great clinch.  No matter, "The Irish Hand Grenade" will explode in his face halfway through the second stanza.  Davis via TKO Round 2.  

I probably should've stopped after the ‘Ben Saunders has long arms and great clinch' part.  My picks record is getting beat up worse than Davis did. 

I think that Rosholt's relentless wrestling and smothering pace will overwhelm Grove and lead to the judges' nod.  Rosholt by Unanimous Decision.

This is what happens when you up a fighter's stock in your mind after he beats Chris Leben.  Beating Chris Leben means nothing.  To steal one of Zak's favorite lines:  I'm an idiot. 

This is the perfect bounce-back fight for Larson.  ‘Nuff said.  Larson by TKO Round 2.

The only thing that bounced in this fight was Larson's head off of Foster's fists.  This just proved to me that there is no such thing as an easy rebound fight in the UFC.  Too bad I have short-term memory loss, as Stephan Bonnar getting manhandled by Mark Coleman at UFC 100 should've already proven that point. 

Sotiropoulos' submission skills are vastly superior to anything Dent has to offer.  Sotiropoulos by Submission Round 2.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.  Whew, thank God this wasn't a total loss...  

Time to fall on your sword Zak Woods.

Forrest Griffin is a different fighter than the one who lost a split decision to Tito Ortiz.

No shit he is different fighter.

Combine that with Ortiz's black eye (never a good sign when a fighter is beaten up from sparring sessions)

It is a HORRIBLE SIGN you idiot.

plus Griffin's desperate need of a win and it looks like the stars are aligning for the TUF veteran. Yet, I picked Ortiz earlier this week and I won't be labeled a flip-flopper god damn it! I have principles. Ortiz via unanimous decision.

Does it feel good clinging to principle Zak? No, it feels like crap and makes me look like a dumb ass. Stupid fucking principles.

For some reason I think Josh Koscheck will go all Sean Sherk on us and stand and trade with Anthony Johnson. As long as Johnson makes weight, which it looks like he will, then he will be able to Paulo Thiago Josh Koscheck. Anthony Johnson via TKO Round 2.

How was I suppose to know that Koscheck would start acting like Curly from the Three Stooges and begin poking Johnson in the eye?

If Amir Sadollah loses this fight he will branded as the worst TUF winner EVER! That should motivate Sadollah to keep a high motor and wait for Baroni to gas out. Amir via submission Round 2.

*clap* *clap* *clap* Way to accurately predict the most obvious fight on the card. Big accomplishment Zak.

I still think Ben Saunders is overrated (who has he beaten again?). Marcus Davis via TKO.

I forgot that Saunders was fighting a vertically challenged fighter. Damn you Marcus Davis and your shitty genes!

I thought that when Brock Larson came to the UFC from the WEC he would put together an impressive string of victories and find himself in the top-ten of the division (like #9). Instead Larson has to go and lose to Mike "freaking" Pierce. A nobody!  Look for Larson to rebound with solid wrestling/grappling. Larson via unanimous decision.

The whole WEC welterweight division was overrated. You want to make money gambling? Then always pick against WEC welterweight fighters! No exceptions.