Nicknames are Stupid

This is a filler piece, like when a T.V. channel runs old re-runs to fill time slots.  It does not have relevance to anything currently going on in the current MMA world.  It is a quick read that is hopefully entertaining.  I present you my filler on Nicknames in MMA.  Enjoy, please.

Nicknames are not worth the risk.  The majority of them are just plain dumb.  They are the equivalent of the 5th grader on the playground who wants everyone to call him Nitro.  Nitro is a perfect example, because American Gladiators is what I equate most MMA fighters' nicknames to.

Very few of them are creative, interesting, or funny and they all have some scary or tough connotation to them.  Dude we get it, you whoop people's butt (not sure what I am allowed to say) for a living. The "Axe Murderer" is not necessary.  When every fighter has a "cool" nickname they lose effect.  You know fighters feel obligated to when "Ken Flo" is actually a used nickname.  This is unfortunate because Kenny Florian is easily one of my favorite fighters. 

I feel the only safe/enjoyable nicknames are ones that have the opposite effect.  "McLovin" is a great example.  Despite the fact that I do not think Dustin Hazelett looks like Chris Mintz-Plasse, I love the nickname because it is self-deprecating.  He is drawing attention to the fact that he looks like, well, sort of, the goofiest and dorkiest character to hit the big screen in recent memory.  To say the least, "McLovin" is not intimidating and that is why I love it.

 Let me finish up this pointless rant with one last thought, how many goddamn "hitmans" are there?  There should be a governing body that regulates the repeat usage of nicknames for professional fighters, especially when they are unoriginal.  All that being said my nickname would be, "Gizmo" or "the most interesting man in the world."

Why do I love that commercial, I really cannot figure out why?

Alright people weigh in, what would your nickname be?