David Whitley does not like Women's MMA

David Whitley of AOL Fanhouse is not a fan of women's MMA. Well the feeling is mutual I am sure. 

WKR thought about sending this to the Fire Joe Morgan boys but maybe WKR can handle it. 

We've just witnessed the greatest advancement for female sports since Brandi Chastain ripped off her shirt at the end of the World Cup.

Do you have a poster of it because I do!

So why does it feel more like a punch to the stomach?

Maybe its because you were you punched in your stomach last night. Just saying.

I'm talking about last weekend's MMA bout between Gina Carano and Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos. It supposedly is the breakthrough battle that will make female fighting mainstream.

I don't believe anyone thinks male's MMA is mainstream. Carano's claim to fame was being on American Gladiators, Red Alert 3 and Maxim. If that is the ceiling of mainstream appeal for an MMA star then we are in trouble. Thank god we have Chuck Liddell on Dancing with the Stars.

It came days after the International Olympic Committee approved female boxing for the 2012 Olympics. The ancient Greeks who started the Olympics treated women like property. Now we're letting women treat themselves like animals.

You know what two professions were open to women in ancient Greece? PROSTITUTE OR SEAMSTRESS!

This, of course, is seen as progress. Maybe it's the thought of a female Chuck Wepner, but I don't see much enlightenment.

What the hell does the guy who was the inspiration for Rocky have to do with this....oh....wait a second. You're a boxing fan aren't you? Now I get it. 

I can't rationally argue women shouldn't be allowed to beat themselves bloody. It's more an emotional repulsion that makes me hope these breakthroughs are overblown.

Wait, you can't rationally argue against women's MMA so why are you writing this? That's right, you need to feel good about your bias and there is nothing as cathartic as mind dumping your thoughts on AOL Fanhouse. Jay Marrioti does it too. 

On a practical level, I doubt the Carano vs. Cyborg was the fighting equivalent of the 19th Amendment. When it comes to female fighters, the MMA still has less depth than Paris Hilton. Carano was its Danica Patrick, and now she's been beaten by Ivan Drago.

We all enjoy making fun of Paris Hilton so I can't fault you for that, oh wait I can! Here's some of that depth: Sarah Kaufman, Megumi Fuji, Tara LaRossa, Kelly Kobold, Miku Matsumoto, Marloes Coenen, Yuka Tsuji, Shayna Baszler  and many more. 

We all know that looks matter, which is why the WWE long ago replaced the Fabulous Moolah with pole dancers. If female combat is going to ever make it big, it will need competitors who look like strippers and fight like bouncers.

That concludes the Male Chauvinist Pig portion of this column. Honestly, I don't think a woman's place is on the sideline waving a pom-pom. I'm all for equal pay, a female president and my daughters growing up in a misogyny-free world.

Its so refreshing to see someone admit their sexist and discriminatory opinions. Now if we can just get those damn birthers to admit that they are mad about a black men being elected President. 

I just don't care to see them in a boxing ring, even if they're beating up some Russian for a gold medal.

Clearly you never saw Million Dollar Baby.

Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg coverage

Women are called the better half for a reason. They are better than men.

I get it. You don't hate women's MMA because you dislike women's sports. You just don't want these dainty young women to get their hands dirty. That's a man's job! 

In general, we are territorial, hunter-gatherers, hard-wired to see who is the king of the jungle. Women will show more fight than 10 men when their children are threatened, but they need a good reason to drop the gloves. Men just need an excuse.

Ah, it looks like someone paid attention is Sociology 101 so how many other massive generalizations are we going to make?

You may consider that Neanderthal reasoning. I think it's human nature prompted by visions of my mother looking like Tex Cobb or babbling like Meldrick Taylor.

Back to the science thing, you do realize Neanderthals are not the same species as us, right? Oh, you don't! Okay I'll just ignore whatever "science" you use *wink *wink.

It's the same feeling I get about women on the front lines in Iraq or Afghanistan. As much as I hate the prospect of a young male soldier getting captured and tortured, the mere thought of a female getting that treatment is horrifying.

I am Shocked! Shocked to find that people die in war!

Seriously, read the New York Times piece about this and as someone who has a sister in the Armed Services let me offer a cursory fuck you from the 350,000+ women in the armed services. 

In our gender-equity world such considerations don't matter. The MMA and boxing aren't war, but something is odd when Gloria Steinem and Don King come down on the same side of an issue.

"The MMA," you are eighty right?

Women have every right to earn a living beating each other up, and some are very good at it. I'd last about 16 seconds in the cage with Cyborg, assuming she spent the first 10 seconds laughing at my physique.

LOLZ you would get beat up by a girl!

There is obviously an audience for what she does. The Carano fight headlined the Showtime pay-per-view, and 13,524 showed up at the HP Pavilion in San Jose.

It is almost as if people like this thing.

From all accounts, the crowd loved it. Of course, some people like snuff films and Michael Vick's ex-hobby. And our ancestors had season tickets to the Christians vs. the Lions.

You see what he did there? He sneakily equated liking women's MMA to liking snuff films, dogfighting and humans being killed by lions. This is what we call "hack writing" or "shitty rhetoric." 

At least we've dialed it down to boxing and MMA. I'm not a big fan of the steel cage, but I'm not against it. It taps into our historic thirst for a little bloodsport. Of the hundreds of sports events I've covered, nothing matches the primal buzz right before a title bout.

I knew he was boxing fan!

I can't believe that humans like watching bad things happen to other humans. I always wondered why the Jerry Springer show always has strong ratings.  

I love it. I just can't get psyched to find out who will be the female Mike Tyson. Is there something wrong with me or something wrong with somebody who does?

Let me answer this question for you. Yes, there is something wrong with you. It's called misogyny which you so aptly confessed to. 

If nothing else, I'll never become a member of the IOC. The movement began in the Cradle of Civilization, and now the modern minds have decreed that women should be allowed to knock each other's heads off.

Clearly this guy never studied history. The Olympic ideal for the Greeks was all about winning! There was no such thing as good sportsmanship.  

If TV ratings are promising, expect female MMA by the 2020 Olympics. Thousands of young girls may be inspired to become the next Cyborg.

Are you saying there is something wrong with that?

If you see this as progress, so be it.

Progress is never having to read an article where someone admits to being a misogonist to only go on and write sexist shit.

For some reason, it doesn't make me feel any more civilized.

Oh we are sooooo civilized. Now I am going to watch an Apache blow some Taliban up on Fox News. America FUCK YEAH!

Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg coverage