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Brock Lesnar the Big Bad Bully: Former Pro Wrestler Looks for Easier Prey

It is not a penis,
I am a bully.

Former Houston Rockets' coach Rudy Tomjanovitch famously exclaimed after the Rockets became the lowest seed in history to win an NBA Championship "Don't ever underestimate the heart of a champion". Rudy T was referring to the various comeback wins the Rockets had that season. Even when things looked rough, they stayed in the game and eventually overcame. Well, things looked rough for Brock Lesnar and we all saw what happened - he ran.

Against Eddie Guerrero, the much smaller Mexican was able to "Lie, Cheat, and Steal" his way to a victory and Brock's coveted WWE Heavyweight Championship. Against Bill Goldberg, not only was he beaten on the "Grand Daddy of the All" Wrestlemania, but he was humiliated after the match when the crowd chanted the "Nah-Nah Nah Nah" song and called him a sellout culminating in "Stone Cold" Steve Austin giving him a "Get the F our of the WWE" Stunner. He then ran to the "real sports" of football and mixed martial arts, winning their little championship in 4 fights (showing the true toughness of pro wrestling), but he was never seen in a WWE ring again. You'd expect a "real wrestler" would be itching to get back in the ring with the people that ran him out. To want to prove that he didn't get run out of wrestling, that he voluntarily chose to leave, but there's a question about who Brock Edward Lesnar is at his very center.

Simply put, Brock is a big bad bully. When cornered, especially when under the gun of pressure, his lack of testicular fortitude makes him take the easy path and find easy prey that he can beat and defeat easily. This is especially ironic when you consider Lesnar is a hunter, so that means he's probably out in the Minnesota woods hunting for rabbits and not deer. Oscar Gutierrez, assistant editor of Rantsylvania, one of the leading a website about wrestling, says Brock isn't looking to fight the man who beat him in his last match (Goldberg) or even the man who challenged him at UFC 121. Instead, Lesnar has allegedly set his sites on Michelle McCool, wife of the Undertaker. By that, I mean he has her photoshoots bookmarked. He also has his sights set on her as well. 

Star-divide

Now there's nothing wrong with Michelle McCool. She is a WWE champion, though she does share the belt with the very sexy Layla. She's probably best known for botching moves, kicking people in the face legit, and the annoying act her and Layla put on each week. But isn't it strange that a former WWE champion, the youngest Undisputed champion in history, to be trying to get at a girl who is nothing more than the wife of the man who called him out? McCool is a big girl, but she doesn't match up to Lesnar.

It's understandable that Lesnar is afraid of the Undertaker, I mean the dude has POWERS. I've seen him set crosses on fire from 50 feet away. You can't hurt him and he's impervious to pain. The best way to defeat him is to take his urn away from his fat pasty manager Paul Bearer.

Compare Lesnar's method to that of the recently re-retired former Heavyweight champion Shawn Michaels. HBK didn't come back from his devastating back inury by challenging Val Venis. He asked for a shot at Triple H who was the biggest and baddest kid on the block and the man who attacked him.

"You think I'm weak? You think I'm vulnerable? That I can't defend myself anymore? I recognise that I'm not in the best of shape right now - but the doctors have told me that I'll make a full recovery. In fact, they say I'll be 100% - 100% by say, ah....SummerSlam?"

So why is Lesnar challenging a fighter who's not even the same gender? Because he thinks it's simpler. He feels that he can run over the blond bimbo - and he's probably right. But even asking for this match shows plenty about Lesnar and where he's at psychologically. This isn't the ass-kicking havoc-wreaking hottest free agent on-track to win the WWE title. This is the way of a big bad bully, the easier route and the mind-set of a wrestler too scared after wto consecutive wrestling PPV ass-whippings.


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Oh, and here's some Michelle McCool pics

Comment 21 comments  |  1 recs  | 

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Wow this post sucked

Well… …except for the images.

I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. - Uncle Buck

by Andiamo Cuccioli on Nov 4, 2010 1:26 PM EDT reply actions  

Thank you

The point was to suck.

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 1:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well you do it very well

If it was a suckitude challenge… …your my pick.

I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. - Uncle Buck

by Andiamo Cuccioli on Nov 4, 2010 4:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

It was pretty easy

I had a good roadmap

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 4:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

Really?

Are you saying you think the rest of WKR sucks?
I didnt think so.

I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. - Uncle Buck

by Andiamo Cuccioli on Nov 4, 2010 5:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

I had a good roadmap...for this article

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

So...

Brock vs. Undertaker in a Michelle-on-a-pole match?

by Hardcase on Nov 4, 2010 3:34 PM EDT reply actions  

Seriously...What is this shit?

If I ever stop visiting this website, it will be because of S.C. Michaelson. And I really like this website.

by brwntwn on Nov 4, 2010 3:45 PM EDT reply actions  

Oh god, it's satire poking fun at an article some didn't like

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 4:16 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Snowden banned me from BE for my response to that article.

I first posted breaking down why it was a transparent troll job and then did an extra post replying to with saying “tl;dr:” and then an “Obvious Troll Is Obvious” pic. He then deleted that post and I am now banished, lol

by Polyhedron on Nov 4, 2010 4:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well fear not, I won't ban you if you feel something was a troll job

But I think you got banned because you had a “socko” account. Or at least that’s what I saw before that whole string of comments was deleted.

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

The fuck is a socko account?

By the way the whole sights part was fucking gold.

Imagine an African white christ from space

by Barack Lesnar on Nov 4, 2010 7:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

Using context clues, it probably means a duplicate account

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 9:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

WTF?

This article is a fucking waste of cyberspace.

by Ender Wiggin on Nov 4, 2010 4:36 PM EDT reply actions  

Wiggin please

Thanks for your opinion.

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 5:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

fap fap fap…..uuuhhhh

by zuffazombie on Nov 4, 2010 6:42 PM EDT reply actions  

Most of it was funny

But at the same time, stop feeding Snowden. He’s sitting around jerking off to all this attention.

by The so-called Beautiful on Nov 4, 2010 9:05 PM EDT reply actions  

Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa?

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 4, 2010 9:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

This was a reference to Chappelle's show

and not a insult, so haters calm down.

I love the ABL crew. Y'all keep keeping it GREEN in this mofo
Black Lesnar aka Slap ya Favorite MMA Writer
Follow me on Twitter
Read me at WatchKalibRun . Imma write til the wheels fall off.

by S.C. Michaelson on Nov 5, 2010 3:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

Good stuff, Black.

By the way, I’ve given up on calling you anything other than that. It’s how I first came to know you, and it’s how I’ll always know you. Black Lesnar.

It wasn’t 100% gold, but it was definitely worth a read and worthy of a chuckle. Gets a rec from me.

If I was a hungry man with a gun in my hand and some promises to keep...

by misterjonez on Nov 5, 2010 2:38 AM EDT reply actions  

these people think 'the onion' is real too

I think this article is great. It made me so mad until I read the line about “i’ve seen him light crosses on fire from 50 feet away” and i realized I was being trolled and had a good inner chuckle over it.

it took me less time to realize snowden was trolling me, what does THAT say?

by thecockroach on Nov 5, 2010 11:00 AM EDT reply actions  

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