What can you say to a Cesar Gracie fighter without being curb stomped

We here at WKR are all about character and the fighters of Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu *cough the Diaz brothers cough* have a lot of character. Do we want the crew from 209 to change their personalities? ABSOLUTELY NOT! But it appears that people who are foreign to this "I really will beat the shit out of you if you disrespect my crew" philosophy need a little guidance so we can still watch MMA on network television

In that spirit we decided to create this helpful guide when addressing a Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu fighter.

Rule #1: Always look into their eyes - Similar to dealing with feral animals it is important to maintain constant eye contact. The second you look away a Diaz may charge like a rhinoceros.

Rule #2: Your friendly criticisms are not appreciated  - Whatever you do, DO NOT say anything that may be construed as an insult. Stick to simple concepts during conversations like the weather. Discussing the clouds is always a safe place and should be consider your "home base". If you feel more comfortable and want to branch out try discussing Pixar movies, though this is risky as it could start a debate over which is better Ratatouille or Finding Nemo. Finally, try discussing the Conference of Yalta in 1945 and how the decisions made there affected 20th geopolitics for the next 60 years. If you stick to these three simple topics you should be able to avoid any direct insults and thus avoid a massive ass kicking.

Rule #3: Confusion with Curb Stomps: Remember, curb stomps are not an attempt to break your skull. In fact, they are a complicated courting ritual. The party doing the stomping is informing the stomped on party that their sister is very good looking and pretty chill, with the hope of being able to take her out to Sonics for a date after the beat down.

Rule #4: "Yo Mama Jokes" - Surprisingly, saying "yo mama is so fat when she sat on the rainbow skittles popped out" will not earn you a beating from the Gracie crew. In fact they love them and will begin trading verbal "Yo Mama" parrys. Just make sure not to switch to Knock Knock joke as it will earn you a beating.

Rule #5: Pot Offerings - If ever in trouble with a Nick Diaz bring an offering of Cannabis tea and a hookah to settle your differences with a good smoke on some Persian carpets like a 14th century emir.

Just follow these simple rules and you shouldn't have any problems with Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu fighter.

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