Which Sports Story Are You Most Sick Of: LeBron James or Fedor Emelianenko?

"Just when I thought I was out they pull me back in!" ~ Michael Corleone

Have you heard? LeBron James is preparing to have a sixty minute fellatio session on ESPN where he will proclaim which NBA team he will bequeath his services to. In the niche universe of MMA we have our own melodrama surrounding the enigmatic Fedor Emelianenko and the constant tomfoolery of M-1 Global.

Both athletes and their every business move have become the center of constant speculation and supposition to the point where each of them deserve their own sequel to the NeverEnding Story.

Our question to you is which one these sagas are you most sick of?

In that spirit we have to go against the man who would be King -- LeBron James.

Say what you will about Fedor and we are sure that there are a few of you out their preparing to call us "Fedor nuthuggers" any moment but hear us out before ripping this opinion to shreds.

On one side we have the self described "King" and on the other "The Last Emperor". Those nicknames actually do a better service in describing each athlete than either could have believed.

LeBron James took a monarchistic title and his entourage have taken the concept of royalty to heights not seen since the Louis XIV. LeBron and company appear to be following in the "Sun King's" footsteps trying to make everything that #23 --pardon, it's #6 now-- does is a celebration of LeBron and we should all bear witness to his luminescence.

Never mind the fact that he hasn't won a title in or that his mom porked Delonte West or that he quit on his team during the Celtics series. James' status, well, that's all he and his entourage seem to care about: vaulting LeBron to ever higher heights of royalty even if the decadence fails to breed tangible accomplishment, much like Louis XIV and his four wars.

For Fedor's part, we've never gotten the sense of spoiled prince petulance, like when LeBron stormed off the court against the Magic and sulked in the bus while his teammates discussed the latest playoff loss. Emelianenko's character has never really been in question. He says all the right things, respects his opponent, was gracious and humble in shocking defeat and all reports indicate he has virtuous if boring character. But then, there is his management and their constant political posturing. Of course, M-1 is acting on Fedor's behalf and thus carry, at the very least, implicit consent for their actions if not more.

We've made this comparison before but it always seems appropriate to describe M-1 and Fedor as the Roman Senate with the dictator Cincinnatus. Fedor, ever the reluctant hero, takes on the mantle of fighter, goes out and competes on behalf of M-1 (and by extension himself)completes his duty and returns home to let the spineless corrupt Senate due the dirty and unpleasant work of politics. The problem is that the cycle appears close to collapsing as Fedor has finally loss and the barbarians (a whole lot of North American fans) are at the gates.

There is one bright spot to all this though. At least one story ends tonight. Unless LeBron exercises his player option to stay in Cleveland one more year and we have to do this all again.